Having recently been involved in a tense road-rage situation, I’m fairly keen not to find myself in that position again.
Driving along a busy three-lane road, a car zoomed into my lane really dangerously. He barely cleared my car as he changed lanes is what I’m saying.
So I gave him a toot. Just a tiny toot, not a big bleeping foghorn or anything. And no rude hand gestures. Just a little whispery beep.
He put his brakes on and started a kind of ‘front-gating’ routine. Little bursts of speed then the brakes, taunting me. I couldn’t take my eyes off the back of his car long enough to get into another lane. I had the kids in the car too, so my biggest fear was that he would stop and get out of his car to ‘discuss’ the issue with me.
Eventually I was able to turn into a side street and lose him but I was more than a little shaken that he was prepared to punish me so harshly for that tiny reprimanding beep of the horn.
I don’t know about you but when I hear a beep I’m a bit less aggressive than that guy was. My first instinct is to check the traffic lights, or freak out thinking I might be going down a one-way street the wrong way or something. And if I catch myself inadvertently doing something wrong I give a little wave to the other driver and hope they understand that it’s a ‘sorry’ wave, not a ‘suck on that’ wave.
Things would be much easier if we had pop-up signs, instead of the ambiguous beep or wave. Then I could be super polite so I don’t incite any more road-rage incidents.
Here are a few pop-up signs I would like to use:
- Excuse me … I don’t think that light will get any greener than it already is, so perhaps you could head off soon. Just finish that text message first though. I can wait.
- Merging lanes usually means one for one, but how clever of you to roar up the outside and push in at the front. I bet nobody else thought of that. Genius.
- That fish-tail and smoking tyres manoeuvre certainly was impressive. I’m sure you have a large penis.
- No, don’t worry. I know you should have given way to me but you were obviously busy finishing off the Corn Flakes box you found your licence in.
- Ooops, so sorry that you nearly crashed into me when you swung so widely around the corner. Let me know you’re coming next time and I’ll park on the kerb until you’re done with my lane.
Yep. That should sort everything out in a nice, friendly way.
Can you think of any other ‘polite’ messages you would give other drivers?